cat-talk

Wednesday, 18 October 2017 08:15

Talk of the Towns for Oct. 18, 2017

A bright idea

Talkers constantly attempt to properly prioritize pet peeves, but with the gray days, foggy mornings and darker commute times accompanying the long-awaited but finally apparent arrival of fall, the absent-minded behavior of some Lake Norman area motorists merits immediate attention.

Wednesday, 11 October 2017 08:51

Talk of the Towns for Oct. 11, 2017

Music to our ears
There was a wonderful singer, Alanna Mosley at Corkscrew on Friday, and the place was packed. Talkers saw people at the wine bar sitting on their phones, many of them taking video of Mosley as she did masterful covers, including one of Johnny Cash’s “Folsom Prison Blues” that elicited cheers.

Wednesday, 04 October 2017 07:51

Talk of the Towns for Oct. 4, 2017

The bigger picture
Talkers know all parents want the best for their children, and there’s no shame in that. But equity doesn’t always mean absolute equality, and in the case of the Charlotte-Mecklenburg Schools bond package, it might be wise for some folks to take a step back and think about the whole county, not just their part of it. 

Wednesday, 27 September 2017 08:00

What’s in an apostrophe?

Talkers try, without exception, to at least get the names right. But it’s one of those job-related chores that, at times, can be much more difficult than it seems. Around here, settling on a crystal clear, undisputed version of names, especially those with historic connotations, can become more of a challenge than it should.

Wednesday, 20 September 2017 07:34

Talk of the Towns for Sept. 20, 2017

Whistling in the wind
After a few relatively quiet years, residents of the East Coast and Gulf Coast were recently reminded of the powerful punch Atlantic hurricanes can deliver. The one-two combo delivered by Harvey and Irma left little doubt about the potential for damage the right (or wrong) mixture of warm water, swirling winds and hundreds of miles of open sea can conjure.

Wednesday, 13 September 2017 06:46

Talk of the Towns for Sept. 13, 2017

“Here we have an aggressive developer manipulating our planning/approval processes to sneak an awful project through, and the Davidson Town Board is asleep at the wheel and taking a dirt road to a lower quality of life for both Davidson and Cornelius citizens.”
— Commissioner Dave Gilroy on proposed housing development off Potts Road near the Lake Norman YMCA. The project originally included nine homes in Cornelius, but Crescent acquisitions withdrew their application Monday afternoon. Almost 300 apartments/townhomes are planned for the Davidson side of the project, which could directly impact traffic in Cornelius.

Thursday, 07 September 2017 13:09

Talk of the Towns for Sept. 6, 2017

Natural disasters
Talkers have learned over the years to never be too amazed at the level of vitriol, viciousness and, sometimes, outright violence promoted on the pages of various social media outlets.

Wednesday, 30 August 2017 07:33

Talk of the Towns for Aug. 30, 2017

It rained so much ...
Talkers know the difficulties associated with providing apt analogies. When trying to illustrate or explain the scope of something difficult to fathom, it’s often a chore to find the correct comparison to give readers an accurate mental image.

Wednesday, 16 August 2017 07:44

Talk of the Towns for Aug. 16, 2017

Blame all around
Talkers can’t pretend to comprehend all the forces and factors that intertwined to trigger the senseless death of a 32-year-old woman in the chaos of Charlottesville, Va., last weekend.

Talkers don’t know the difference between protesters and counter-protesters, unless it’s all just a matter of who started shouting first.

Talkers don’t know how groups formed and encouraged to sing, chant, march and hold signs supporting their particular views about a highly controversial subject deteriorated into opposing forces resorting to, or forced to respond to, violence.

Wednesday, 09 August 2017 08:13

Talk of the Towns for Aug. 9, 2017

Just don’t strain yourself

Talkers know progress comes in many forms, and that most of the projects ever imagined, invented, produced and marketed are targeted toward one common denominator: making human life easier.

Dating back to the wheel, geniuses have devised ways to make survival less stressful, chores less demanding and even exercise less taxing on our bodies and minds. Electricity might have powered mankind into a magnificent manufacturing marvel, but it also allowed men who wanted to enjoy light, heat and cooked food to avoid the hassles of cutting firewood and building fires.

Railroads may have helped connect the country from coast to coast, but they also made it possible to order a dress from the Sears & Roebuck catalog and walk down to the depot to pick up the package in less time than it took to learn to sew.

The steady stream of progress and products has been constant, from canoes to cruise ships, bows and arrows to ballistic missiles, with the objective to make it much easier to do much more with significantly less effort.
So when does it end? What will be the pinnacle of man’s efforts to make the physical aspect of man’s existence superfluous? Pretty deep topic for a Talker, huh, but rest assured this subject would never have been broached if the answer was not securely in hand.

Ladies and gentlemen, that day has come. In one simple device, we have reached the point where all our efforts to basically allow ourselves to waste away in a glob of gooeyness, with nothing but thumbs to punch in our next diversion, have achieved ultimate success. Without further ado, meet the Sock Slider.

The plastic device looks like a cross between a child’s toy microscope and a Pecan Picker-Up-Er (another actual piece of equipment, no joke). Its purpose is to greatly simplify and remove the physical and emotional challenges affiliated with putting on socks. Instead of trying to extend one’s arms all the way down to their feet, a Sock Slider user — it’s not clear whether a Sock Slider grabber comes in the standard package — can place the device on their lap, position the mouth of the sock around the rim of the convenient holder (like a garbage bag around the edges of the container) and then, using the handle to place the device on the ground, simply step into their socks.

And, lo and behold, after the completion of that arduous task, users can then take advantage of the Sock Slider’s “long handle with teeth” as a shoe horn to make another Mt. Everest climb-like task, putting on shoes, less demanding.

Now Talkers know the device is designed for those with injuries or ailments irritated by uncomfortable movements, but Talkers also know those are not the people making the majority of the purchases. If it makes life easier — even trivial parts of life most folks manage to achieve each day without really much effort — there is a buyer eager to own it, and a savvy entrepreneur nearby equipped with the knowledge that nobody every went broke overestimating the laziness of the average human.

But now that the sock dilemma has been resolved (and yes, the Sock Slider can also be used to take the shoes and socks off), Talkers are ready for someone to tackle a real problem. It’s time someone designed a tool that makes the top of the ice cream in a carton look exactly like it did before a few spoonfuls were pilfered. Something like that could really go a long way to assure longer lasting relationships.

Wednesday, 02 August 2017 07:20

Poop-petrators

The evolution of mankind has made another dramatic leap now that the DNA testing of dog droppings has been implemented to help track down societal deviants who fail to police behind their pets and provide a pristine poop-free path for other folks to follow.