The learning is supposed to take place over a four-year span, or in some cases, longer than that, depending on the degree to be attained or the focus of the student. Ideally, though, the maturation process is slow but constant and a crescendo toward a B.S. or B.A. in adulthood.
Occasionally, however, that plan is interrupted as it can be for anyone at any time and the student is thrown a pop quiz in real life.
You may have noticed a regional sports story last week about the unexpected death of 49-year-old Appalachian State University men’s soccer coach Shaun Pendleton. Beyond the effect of headlines and newsprint on the reader, the story had a local impact.
Patrick Harrow, who graduated from North Meck High in June and played in the East-West All-Star game in July, is a freshman defender on the Mountaineers soccer team and one month into college. The Davidson native was still adjusting to everyday campus life, along with playing an advanced level of soccer, when he found himself thrust onto uncharted ground early last week. He and his teammates didn’t know what to expect when ASU athletic director Charlie Cobb called a team meeting, but they soon were told of Pendleton’s passing.
“Just the way he put it, my heart just dropped into my stomach,” Harrow said this week. “It was a shock. Your mind starts spinning automatically.”
Pendleton recruited Harrow and was the first coach to offer him a scholarship. They had built a relationship.
“For the last year-and-a-half since I’ve been committed (to ASU), I’ve put a lot of trust in him,” said Harrow. “He was kinda like a father away from home.”
Harrow has tried over the last week or so to put what he’s feeling into words. All he can come up with is the word surreal. It’s all unbelievable and not what a student-athlete expects to deal with before Boone’s leaves have changed colors in his first fall on the mountain.
“I only knew him as my coach for a month,” said Harrow. “He was a great person to play under, and it was really sad and unfortunate. But it brought the team together.”
Together, the team, now coached by ASU assistant Matt Nelson, decided that it would return to action in its next scheduled match. That brought the Mountaineers to Davidson for the Davidson adidas Classic this past weekend. Harrow has never lived anywhere other than Davidson, growing up in the River Run neighborhood, and has spent many hours playing at Davidson’s Alumni Stadium. He’s attended camps there, and it was his club team’s home field.
So while he didn’t even get a glimpse of his family home during the team trip, in many ways, the
“I’m a believer that everything does happen for a reason, and it was awesome coming home,” said Harrow.
ASU played Gardner-Webb to a scoreless, double overtime tie in its return to action last Friday, then beat Detroit 2-0 on Sunday.
ASU will return to Davidson for a Southern Conference match Oct. 29. By then, the events of early September won’t be forgotten, but perhaps more in focus as the shock subsides. Whatever the Mountaineers’ season has become by then will have been shaped by the tragedy, and the response of those left to deal with it.
As he and his new teammates move forward, Harrow is still processing what he has learned in college so far: That life is filled with twists and turns that are sometimes unpleasant and also impossible to put into words. That coming home is something you just can’t appreciate until you go away. That growing up isn’t always all it’s cracked up to be.
Mostly, though, he’s learned that college’s most difficult lessons often aren’t taught in the classroom. They are presented in the laboratory of real life.
