Sam Spencer, the 26-year-old president of the N.C. Young Democrats, stood near the middle of a packed room of more than 200 people, and faced Republican N.C. House Speaker Thom Tillis.
Spencer, wearing a blue blazer and khakis on a 90-degree day, sighed, looked to the floor, then back again toward Tillis. Spencer’s obvious discomfort telegraphed his message during the gathering Tuesday evening at Cornelius Town Hall.
That Spencer was going to challenge Tillis on some subject was obvious. But something unexpected happened on the way to this political showdown. The two leaders — at opposite ends of both the political and professional spectrum — holstered their flame throwers.
That doesn’t mean Spencer, a Davidson College graduate and unsuccessful Davidson mayoral candidate in 2009, didn’t use the opportunity to criticize Tillis, in this case for referring to the Democrat Party rather than the Democratic Party during Tuesday’s town hall meeting. But Spencer delivered his rebuke as though he were genuinely disheartened by the fact that he had to deliver it at all.
While the semantics of Democrat vs. Democratic are certainly debatable, the fact that Republicans often use the term Democrat Party as a statement of derision is not. Tillis admitted as much in his response to Spencer. But it was what the two men agreed on that was most telling.
In a caucus of Republicans, Tillis explained, using Democrat instead of Democratic is acceptable because everyone understands the context.
“In a public setting like this,” he added, “I’ll be more mindful of it.”
Spencer offered a similar observation from his side of the aisle.
A community forum like Tuesday’s town hall meeting, Spencer noted, is no place for politically motivated slaps, backhanded or otherwise, but “obviously, when we leave here, we’re going to call each other different names.”
What Spencer and Tillis were saying is that mocking members of the opposing party is okay if it’s done within the confines of one’s own party. But is it really okay? Is there not something inherently hypocritical in maintaining a double standard in the way we talk about others?
More to the point, where do politics end and where does governing start?
Tillis made at least two references Tuesday to House Democrats who displayed “courage” during the last legislative session by publicly disagreeing with most or all of their party brethren on a particular issue.
But why should it take courage for an elected leader to do what’s best for his or her constituents, rather than simply what’s best for his or her party?
Tillis is a deft politician, and it showed in the way he led Tuesday’s gathering, and especially in the way he interacted thoughtfully and compassionately with critics who challenged him on hot button issues such as same-sex marriage. He even made an intriguing suggestion that those who support gay marriage offer a “business case” proving that same-sex couples offer children as stable a home life as heterosexual couples (a statement that sent thumbs flying on the BlackBerrys of a half-dozen gay-rights advocates stationed at the back of the room).
But even for a leader as inclusive as Tillis is and has been, the Us vs. Them aura is unmistakable, which is a sure sign it’s time for leaders from both parties to engage in a little less caucus talk about one another, a little more dialogue with one another, and do just a little bit of thinking for themselves without the blessing of their party’s bosses.
