Wednesday, 09 August 2017 08:13

Talk of the Towns for Aug. 9, 2017

Written by  Staff

Just don’t strain yourself

Talkers know progress comes in many forms, and that most of the projects ever imagined, invented, produced and marketed are targeted toward one common denominator: making human life easier.

Dating back to the wheel, geniuses have devised ways to make survival less stressful, chores less demanding and even exercise less taxing on our bodies and minds. Electricity might have powered mankind into a magnificent manufacturing marvel, but it also allowed men who wanted to enjoy light, heat and cooked food to avoid the hassles of cutting firewood and building fires.

Railroads may have helped connect the country from coast to coast, but they also made it possible to order a dress from the Sears & Roebuck catalog and walk down to the depot to pick up the package in less time than it took to learn to sew.

The steady stream of progress and products has been constant, from canoes to cruise ships, bows and arrows to ballistic missiles, with the objective to make it much easier to do much more with significantly less effort.
So when does it end? What will be the pinnacle of man’s efforts to make the physical aspect of man’s existence superfluous? Pretty deep topic for a Talker, huh, but rest assured this subject would never have been broached if the answer was not securely in hand.

Ladies and gentlemen, that day has come. In one simple device, we have reached the point where all our efforts to basically allow ourselves to waste away in a glob of gooeyness, with nothing but thumbs to punch in our next diversion, have achieved ultimate success. Without further ado, meet the Sock Slider.

The plastic device looks like a cross between a child’s toy microscope and a Pecan Picker-Up-Er (another actual piece of equipment, no joke). Its purpose is to greatly simplify and remove the physical and emotional challenges affiliated with putting on socks. Instead of trying to extend one’s arms all the way down to their feet, a Sock Slider user — it’s not clear whether a Sock Slider grabber comes in the standard package — can place the device on their lap, position the mouth of the sock around the rim of the convenient holder (like a garbage bag around the edges of the container) and then, using the handle to place the device on the ground, simply step into their socks.

And, lo and behold, after the completion of that arduous task, users can then take advantage of the Sock Slider’s “long handle with teeth” as a shoe horn to make another Mt. Everest climb-like task, putting on shoes, less demanding.

Now Talkers know the device is designed for those with injuries or ailments irritated by uncomfortable movements, but Talkers also know those are not the people making the majority of the purchases. If it makes life easier — even trivial parts of life most folks manage to achieve each day without really much effort — there is a buyer eager to own it, and a savvy entrepreneur nearby equipped with the knowledge that nobody every went broke overestimating the laziness of the average human.

But now that the sock dilemma has been resolved (and yes, the Sock Slider can also be used to take the shoes and socks off), Talkers are ready for someone to tackle a real problem. It’s time someone designed a tool that makes the top of the ice cream in a carton look exactly like it did before a few spoonfuls were pilfered. Something like that could really go a long way to assure longer lasting relationships.

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