One type of lasting things are lists of things useful to our lives. Think, for example, of the Ten Commandments. First, they were carved in stone. Then they were written on scrolls, printed in the Bible and along the way impressed upon our consciences. They seem permanent. Also lasting through time are the Beatitudes of Jesus. They stick in our minds. They are an antidote to the "B" attitudes that we all struggle with in life.

Another type of lists that last are the collections of funny things that happen in church. One such list is one I first saw at least 50 years ago. The first copy I saw was hand-written, later copies were mimeographed, then photocopied, now e-mailed.

A young friend sent me a copy last week. He is so young he doesn't even suspect that his grandfather laughed at it when he was a young man. It is a list of funny bloopers found in church bulletins and newsletters. I'm guessing it first appeared carved into stone tablets. I am glad it survives in all generations because it continues to amuse me and those who want to spread a little cheer.

Here are some of my favorite entries: "This afternoon there will be a meeting in the north and south ends of our church. Children will be baptized at both ends." ... "This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the altar." ... "Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community." ... "Pastor is on vacation. Massages may be given to the church secretary." ... "Thursday night pot-luck supper. Prayer and medication to follow."

What is more fun than to note funny signs in public places? These signs are reported to be true but I can't vouch for that. But that isn't the point anyway is it? Maybe this list is destined for immortality like the church bloopers. In a New York drug store: "We dispense with accuracy." ... In a Minnesota funeral parlor: "Ask about our layaway plan." ... On a Tennessee highway: "Take notice. If this sign is under water, this road is impassable." ... In the vestry of a New England church: "Will the last person to leave please see that the perpetual light is extinguished." ... In a Washington men's clothing store: "15 men's suits — $100 — They won't last an hour." Finally, ... in the office of a Texas loan company: "Ask about our plans for owning your home."

I just celebrated another birthday. I'm approaching the time when most of what I will be able to remember are old jokes. But I will always recall those familiar words of the Apostle Paul's in the 13th chapter of his first letter to the Corinthian Christians. After describing the importance of love, he ends his chapter with this: "There are three things that last: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these," he says, "is love."

I would like to say a hearty amen to that! It is a very short list with a huge impact. Start with some seeds of hope, nurture some seeds of faith and watch love grow. They are great provisions for the long journey of life. They are all enduring, and love is the greatest of all.

Harold Bales is a semi-retired Methodist minister who lives in Kannapolis. He also has a new book out and copies are available for sale. For more information, visit www.TheSouthernFriedPreacher.com. Send him an e-mail at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it .