The burglar stopped in his tracks. The woman calmly called the police and explained what she had done. As the officer cuffed the man to take him to jail, he asked the burglar: "Why did you just stand there? All the lady did was yell a Bible verse at you?"
"Bible verse?" replied the scoundrel. "She said she had an ax and two 38s!" The policeman knew what the thief did not. He knew the Bible verse says: "... repent and be baptized ... for the forgiveness of your friends ..."
Sometimes reciting a Bible verse does not work to rescue one from a sticky situation. Once I was driving down to Myrtle Beach to give a series of lectures to a conference of clergy folk. I was cruising along thinking about my assignment and not my driving. I looked in my rear view mirror and saw the blue lights of a South Carolina state trooper. I came to a stop and waited for the bad news. I had exceeded the speed limit.
The officer asked where I was going. I replied that I was headed to the beach. He asked why I was going to the beach. I informed him that I was going to give some lectures. He asked to whom I was going to speak. I replied that I was going to speak at a conference of ministers. He asked what I was going to tell them. Then I replied, "In light of this event, I believe I will speak on Numbers 32:23, "... be sure your sin will find you out ..." I breathed a silent prayer: "I hope he'll only give me a warning."
Then he said, "Tell them you met officer (I'll not mention his name.) up here. I've met lots of those guys. They know me." He handed me a ticket and said, "Have a nice day!" I arrived a few minutes late and found the host standing in the parking lot at the convention center looking for me. I explained what had happened and walked straight to the podium. I explained to the assembly why I was late arriving. We all had a great laugh. Three days later as the event came to an end, I was presented a gift of a brown paper bag full of dollar bills. Written on the bag was, "The Bailout Bales Fund." They had taken an offering to pay my fine!
There are lots of good reasons to get knowledgeable about the Bible. Don't rely on it to nab a burglar or get some mercy if you exceed the speed limit. But you can count on it to help you get through rough patches in your spiritual life. For example, the 23rd Psalm is a big help in getting through a variety of threatening situations.
John 3:16 can encourage you if you are feeling unloved and anxious about your future. Add the 14th chapter of John for further thoughts on that theme.
It's hard to beat the Sermon on the Mount for moral and ethical instruction. The Beatitudes are a gold mine of spiritual insight and a part of the Sermon. The Lord's Prayer is a winner. All of this is found in Matthew, Chapters 5 through 7.
The Ten Commandments will help you stay on God's side. You can find them in Exodus, Chapter 20. You probably don't particularly need to be reminded not to "... covet your neighbor's man servant or his ass ..." (Commandment 10) However, these commandments can be a big help to you in living out of your larger and not your lesser self.
I love the Bible! If you don't have one, let me know and I will give you one! I have learned not to take anything for granted. I mean it! One more thing; I love you, too. Happy New Year!
Harold Bales is a semi-retired Methodist minister who lives in Kannapolis. He also has a new book out and copies are available for sale. For more information, visit www.TheSouthernFriedPreacher.com. Send him an e-mail at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it .
